What to do when you’ve been passed over for …

Facebook rants are (unfortunately) common. Although I have pretty much unfollowed the regular naysayers, a few still pop-up on my News Feed once in awhile.

A couple of weeks ago, I chanced upon one such post. It was obvious that this person has been passed over for something but, since we were not that close, I did not feel comfortable asking about it.


So, what can one do if put in a similar place?

Don’t Burn Bridges

Yes, there absolutely nothing original with this advice. I have heard this from my parents from way back. However, this needs to be emphasized because this is all the more important in the Internet age. The world has gotten smaller and smaller because of the way Social Media connects everyone. In fact, we might need to revisit the theory of the Six degrees of Separation.

So what does not burning bridges entail.

1. Do not badmouth anyone on social media

Why? Badmouthing anybody on social media only results to (1) getting sympathizerswho has no direct say on the matter anyway, (2) make you look like a sour-grape and (3) basically nothing positive. So don’t do it because it does nothing good for you. If you need to vent, call a friend, take a walk. Heck, break your TV for all I care, but do not vent in public.


Well, too late for my friend. I hope he/she comes to his/her senses and delete the post, and hope that it did not reach the concerned party yet.

2. Be Professional

Yes, not badmouthing is part of being professional but this is actually taking it a step farther. This means accepting what happened and, if it’s appropriate, eventhanking the other party for the opportunity.

  • If it’s a business partnership that did not fall through even after you’ve given your all, thank them for the opportunity.
  • If it’s a promotion that did not happen, thank them for at least considering you for the post.

3. Let It Fuel You

Do NOT sulk! Do NOT be discouraged.

Some folks will tell you not to hold a grudge, I won’t. I tell you to hold that grudge so long as it drives you to the right direction.

Use that experience, that frustration to push you to newer heights.

Follow the footsteps of these undrafted NBA players (Best Undrafted Players in NBA History) who managed to find a way and went on to have amazing careers!


In the end, it’s not what happens to us that’s important… it’s how we respond!


Wishing you well on your journey…

Coach Rye
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Coach Rye

Head Coach at Coach Rye
Ryan Salvanera is an Executive Coach who helps teams and individuals maximize their unique powers, taking them from good to great to AWESOME! Ryan is the Founder of Coach Rye and a Co-Founder of Wissen Solomon and StrengthsCoach.PH.

Ryan’s top five talent themes are:
Relator, Arranger, Learner, Maximizer and Individualization.

Do you want a 30-minute complimentary coaching session with Coach Rye? Check out his availability here: Calendly.
Coach Rye
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