The 5 Love Languages®

I wrote about the 5 Love Languages® briefly last month when I was talking about the tools I used for self-assessment: Focus On Self.

Since it’s still the Love Month, I thought it’d be the perfect time to write more about it.

What Is The 5 Love Languages® Assessment?

From The 5 Love Languages site:

The 5 Love Languages® profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.

Basically, there are five love languages that people use. These are:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch


Why Do I Love It?

First of all, taking the assessment increased my self-awareness. Although I always had an inkling what I enjoyed, the results allowed me to pin-point the exact love languages I preferred and valued.

Aside from that, sharing the results with my wifey gave us a better idea how to make each other feel (more) loved.

For instance, although we both have ACTS OF SERVICE as our preferred love language, the intensity (score) is different. She also has QUALITY TIME as her next love language, while this was relatively lower on my profile.

Note: Although it is often related to romantic relationships, the profile can actually be used for other relationships (work, friends, etc).

So What?

This “simple” realization did wonders for our relationship.

It went both ways.

First, knowing what she prefers gives me ideas on how to make her feel more loved. Just the other day, the wifey wanted to walk a good 1.5km from church. Now, I am an ARRANGER (so I’m always looking for efficient ways to get things done) but because I knew QUALITY TIME was important to her, I obliged.

Secondly, not only does it allow you to do things for your beloved, this realization (more importantly) also allows you to appreciate their actions.

A Word of Caution

Although the 5 Love Languages® profile is an amazing tool, we must be careful not to over-generalize people.

  • Two people who share the same score for a Love Language may still have different ways of expressing themselves.
    Someone with WORDS OF AFFIRMATION may prefer to do it verbally while another might be more comfortable expressing their feelings in writing
  • RECEIVING GIFTS may be in the form of any simple item, or some may prefer to receive personalized items

So what now?

Starting Point

I encourage you to let your 5 Love Languages® profile be the starting point of a loving dialogue with your beloved. Openly communicate how and when you feel most loved and, more importantly, listen to your beloved’s needs too.
If you have your own 5 Love Languages® story to tell, please feel free to share them here and help others who might need to hear them.

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Coach Rye

Head Coach at Coach Rye
Ryan Salvanera is an Executive Coach who helps teams and individuals maximize their unique powers, taking them from good to great to AWESOME! Ryan is the Founder of Coach Rye and a Co-Founder of Wissen Solomon and StrengthsCoach.PH.

Ryan’s top five talent themes are:
Relator, Arranger, Learner, Maximizer and Individualization.

Do you want a 30-minute complimentary coaching session with Coach Rye? Check out his availability here: Calendly.
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