Letting Go

Note: This is a very late post on OneCore’s FREE Learning Session* last May. 2-months late to be precise.

The venue was so jam-packed, you would think these folks were lost. People did not just trickle into the venue, they actually came in batches with their family and friends.

Maybe they actually thought that the cast of Frozen would be there that night. Or could it be that all these people really relate to the topic? This free learning session definitely had one of the highest attendance I’ve ever seen. I guess letting go is something that a lot of people are hoping to do.

What was interesting was that people talked about letting go in different aspects. Although (as expected) most talked about letting go of people, there were also others looking to learn about letting go of circumstances and situations.

Letting Go

As with previous free learning sessions, Coach Pia shared three points:

Three Points

1. Letting Go is a skill. Maturity is necessary.

It is crucial that your individuality has been properly formed. This means that you must have a good awareness of yourself, as this will provide you a better insight on why you are affected and make that decision (to let go) on your own. Through the years I have spoken to individuals who tried to let go. However, their lack of maturity (self-awareness) prevented them from doing so.

Often, Ms NotSelfAware seeks out friends (who usually come with their own personal bias) for advise and, every time this happens, she is persuaded to take that side. Then another friend comes along, again with her own personal bias, and again convinces Ms NotSelfAware to “switch” sides. An endless loop in the making.

2. Letting Go assumes you have the ability to detach oneself.

This was a rather hard point to sell to people, as detachment is often linked to running away from a problem. Of keeping one’s self away from the issue because it is too burdensome or too heavy. Of escaping.

In fact, detaching here means simply removing yourself from the situation. Forgetting the pain and hurt that you may be feeling, and trusting that everything will turn our alright in the end.

  • For the lady who lost her job, she may need to cut down on some wants and live on bare essentials for now but, if she continues to push herself, she will eventually find another job.
  • For the guy who got cheated on and dumped, yet feels that nobody will love him like she did**, you will find a way to survive. You may or may not find someone else, but you will survive.

3. What is your real issue?

In order to fully let go, we must go beyond our feelings and acknowledge our real issue.

Is it fear or pride?

Oftentimes, we have difficulty letting go because of fear or pride.

  • I got dumped by my boyfriend. I loved him so much. He was everything to me.
    • Pride: What will people say?
    • Fear: Will I grow old alone?
  • Both my parents have passed away. I really miss them. How I wish they were here.
    • Fear: Who will take care of me? Who will love me unconditionally?
  • I lost my job. I didn’t deserve to lose it. If those darn sales guys have done their job. That no-good a$$ ki$$er should have been the one to get sacked. Blah, blah, blah.
    • Fear: What will happen to me and my family now?
    • Pride: What will people say?
  • I missed out on my promotion. That no-good a$$ ki$$er didn’t deserve it.
    • Pride: I am better than him

In all these scenarios, for us to let go and move on, we have to accept the real issue, the real emotion that we are feeling.

Time To Let Go!

Is there anything that you need to let go? I hope you learned something from this and start to work on yourself (be self-aware), trust that everything will be alright and accept your real emotions.

 

 

Hoping that this helps you make…

Better Life Decisions

 

 

* The next FREE Learning Session will be on August 12, 2014 (7-830pm) at The Forum, Fully Booked Bonifacio High Street.
** Yes, I’ve actually heard this before. It’s tough to imagine that someone who just got cheated on would actually think that it was the best love they could ever experience, but such is the power of infatuation.

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Coach Rye

Head Coach at Coach Rye
Ryan Salvanera is an Executive Coach who helps teams and individuals maximize their unique powers, taking them from good to great to AWESOME! Ryan is the Founder of Coach Rye and a Co-Founder of Wissen Solomon and StrengthsCoach.PH.

Ryan’s top five talent themes are:
Relator, Arranger, Learner, Maximizer and Individualization.

Do you want a 30-minute complimentary coaching session with Coach Rye? Check out his availability here: Calendly.
Coach Rye
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