It’s been around two months since mom passed.
I stayed away from writing here to give myself some time…
… time to let the events sink through
… time to accept reality
… time to heal
… but, apparently, it’s harder than I thought.
From the outside, everything seems OK… Even I felt that way and so that was exactly what I said when my sister asked me how I was.
However, in the few times that I found myself alone, I realized that I was still at a lost. In these moments, thoughts of mom pops out of nowhere and the tears follow soon after. In fact, simple things like glancing at her magnet collection on the fridge door, finding an old image of her on my desktop, or just about anything I read that talked about mothers would result to an automatic tear-jerker for me.
No, I don’t think I was trying to fool myself into thinking that I have gone through the stages of dealing with loss and grief. No because I honestly believe that I am already at the acceptance stage.
However, accepting that she is gone does does not necessarily make it easier. Accepting does not take away the pain from knowing that she won’t be there, to listen to your boring stories about your latest basketball game, to share her words of wisdom about relationships and what-nots. Accepting does not mean you stop the pain of missing her.
I Miss You Mom
Ryan’s top five talent themes are:
Relator, Arranger, Learner, Maximizer and Individualization.
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