7 Characters No Office Is Without

FacesI really enjoyed this article because I was actually able to match each character with someone I know / had known at work.

Come to think of it, each company I have been actually encourage everyone to be like #1. It could be an IT/Software Department thing.

How about you? Can you relate to these characters?

Calamity Coworker: 7 Characters No Office Is Without

On a recent trip, a friend and I entertained each other by creating a cast of characters out of various people we have had the joy to work with during our careers. The funniest part? More than once we could think of an experience where we played the role. Sometimes being the problem is the best way to learn, right? Don’t answer that. I decided to write up and share some of my favorites with you in this edition of the StickyLetter.

  1. Repeat “Reply All” Offender: If you haven’t ever accidentally hit Reply All, consider yourself lucky. Usually it just takes once to learn that you don’t ever want to make that mistake again. However, there are a select few who take pride in selecting Reply All, for every single email. Maybe they want everyone to know they read the email, maybe they don’t know that you can also just reply to an individual, or maybe they just don’t care. Whatever the case may be, this person loves to Reply All to all emails regardless of if a reply is needed, to anyone, at all.
  2. Work Stalker: This person has one speed—urgency. Whatever he needs, he needed it yesterday. He has a freakish ability to call, email, IM, and appear outside your office door all at once. If a path has been worn in the carpet it front of your cube, my guess is that this guy is to blame. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been pulled into talks bartering for world peace—whatever Work Stalker needs is more important, got it? You’d better, because he will hunt you down and find you.
  3. Buck the Passer: My husband and I stopped at a diner in the south several years back. When the waitress delivered our check, she asked how the meal was. Before we could answer, she delivered this gem in full southern drawl, “If ya’ll liked it, I made it all by myself. If ya’ll didn’t, I didn’t touch it.” She could pull that off with her charm. Buck the Passer? Not so much. Buck the Passer tends to be a bus driver. Those tire tracks on your back? Yep, thank Buck for those. Have you ever found yourself on someone’s out-of-office message as the person picking up the slack while he’s out? Did he forget to mention this to you? That’s a Buck move. Buck has a unique ability to always find someone to help him in a pinch. If anything goes wrong, don’t look at Buck—look at the poor chump who helped him. If it went well, don’t look for the chump who helped Buck out—actually, you won’t know anything about the chump because Buck will be taking all of the credit.
  4. The Grudge Master: This one is perhaps the most dangerous coworker, the Grudge Master is everyone’s friend. Until you make a mistake. Be it a teeny tiny little misstep or a big old honkin’ mess, it doesn’t matter. The Grudge Master will smile and nod while accepting your apology. You’ll feel horrible for whatever it is that happened, you’ll do your best to make it right, and you’ll believe your efforts have been noticed. Then, when you least suspect it, the Grudge Master is going to trip you and laugh when you face plant in the mud. Your only hope is that the Grudge Master makes a mistake before exacting his revenge. Only then can the Grudge Master see the value of forgiveness.
  5. Patty Plague: You know Patty. Nothing ever goes Patty’s way. What would she have to talk about if it did? If someone is sick, so is Patty. If something goes wrong, it already happened to Patty, but it was worse for her. No really, it was. If you make the mistake of asking, you’re probably still listening to her tell you all about it.
  6. The History Major: One company I worked for had a name for the history majors on campus, “Lifers.” These people have worked at the company since the dawn of time and they know everything about everything. Oh, they appreciate your fresh ideas, but why stray from the tried and true? Just ask the history major—change is a mistake. Change is for people who just don’t know what history majors know. And what do they know? More than you, so hush up newbie.
  7. Baby Talks A Lot: If this person is in your office, you have my most sincere empathy. A grown person using baby talk in a professional setting surpasses all other painfully irritating situations—nails on chalk boards, paper cuts and lemon juice, and the guy chewing ice next to you in the meeting. Baby talk wins every time. Do you know why babies talk like babies? Because they are still learning how to talk. Why do grownups, who aren’t actually working with babies, use baby talk? I got nothing.
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Coach Rye

Head Coach at Coach Rye
Ryan Salvanera is an Executive Coach who helps teams and individuals maximize their unique powers, taking them from good to great to AWESOME! Ryan is the Founder of Coach Rye and a Co-Founder of Wissen Solomon and StrengthsCoach.PH.

Ryan’s top five talent themes are:
Relator, Arranger, Learner, Maximizer and Individualization.

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